Episode 70: What Else Could Be True? | How the Stories We Tell Ourselves Shape Our Lives and Leadership with Barbara Boselli
Episode Snapshot:
What if the “truth” you’re living is actually just a story you learned to believe? In this episode, leadership coach Barbara Boselli helps us separate fact from story—so we can lead, relate, and respond with more clarity, curiosity, and choice.
Summary:
Dr. Katie sits down with Barbara Boselli—leadership coach, facilitator, and former senior leader in corporate environments including Google—to explore how the narratives we inherit and repeat shape who we become as leaders, partners, parents, and humans.
Barbara shares how she first realized her “truth” wasn’t universal through a powerful childhood example: she grew up believing disagreement equals disrespect, only to witness a family where disagreement was a form of connection and engagement. That moment sparked a lifelong awareness: we don’t only react to what happens—we react to the meaning we assign to what happens.
Together, Katie and Barbara unpack the difference between facts (observable events) and stories (assumptions, judgments, absolutes like “always” and “never”). Barbara introduces her practical ASK framework—Access awareness, Sort fact from story, Kindle curiosity—as a way to interrupt reactive patterns and widen perspective. The conversation applies this lens to real-life leadership moments like missed deadlines and feedback conversations, showing how quickly we can confuse behavior with intent, label people, and create self-fulfilling outcomes. The episode closes with a deeply empowering reminder: a thought can be another thought—and the choice to shift our thinking can shift our entire experience.
Key Learnings:
Facts are what happened. Stories are the meaning we attach. If you couldn't put it on a calendar, it’s probably a story.
Your emotional “yuck” is often a signal that a story is running the show—especially when you feel defensive, judgmental, disconnected, or stuck.
Use the ASK framework: Access awareness (pause, name what you feel), Sort fact from story, Kindle curiosity (“What else could be true?”).
In leadership, assumptions damage trust fast. Curiosity builds connection—and helps you coach the real issue instead of reacting to a false one.
Language matters: “What/How happened?” invites dialogue; “Why?” can trigger defensiveness and shutdown.
Resources:
Guest Info:
Barbara Boselli is a leadership coach and facilitator with 15+ years of experience in corporate America, including senior leadership work in high-performing environments. Her work helps individuals and teams identify the narratives driving their behavior—so they can lead with greater clarity, empathy, and effectiveness. Through her keynote, “Fact or Story: How the Narratives We Believe Shape the Leader We Become,” Barbara invites people to challenge limiting assumptions and choose more empowering ways to interpret what’s happening around them. Her approach blends practical leadership tools with deep inner awareness to create lasting change.
