Episode 65: You’re Not Your Thoughts — And That Changes Everything with Amy Kemp
Episode Snapshot:
What if “reality” isn’t reality… but a well-worn habit of thinking that once protected you and is now quietly running your life? In this episode, Amy Kemp helps us name those subconscious patterns so we can stop living on autopilot and start making millimeter-shifts toward a life we actually love.
Summary:
Dr. Katie and Amy unpack how ~80% of our thoughts happen below conscious awareness, meaning we’re often reacting from old mental grooves that were built for survival—not fulfillment. Amy explains that the brain creates automatic thought patterns to conserve energy and keep us safe, but those same patterns can become limiting once the season that required them has passed. A major theme: you’re not your thoughts but you are the one who can notice them.
Through vivid stories (like launching a book and instantly sliding from “this will be amazing” to “this is a disaster”), Amy shows how quickly the brain can jump into catastrophic thinking. The turning point isn’t “fixing yourself”—it’s building awareness + language so you can slow down in high-risk moments and choose a different response. The conversation also explores why change feels terrifying even when we want it: your subconscious may interpret slowing down, earning more, or setting boundaries as danger because it threatens old survival rules, identity, or belonging. The path forward is not a five-step hack—it’s compassionate, incremental rewiring.
Key Learnings:
Most of your thinking is subconscious. You’re living the top of the iceberg, while deeper mental grooves shape your reactions, choices, and relationships.
Survival patterns can outlive their usefulness. What helped you “get the plane off the ground” (hustle, over-functioning, hypervigilance) can become the very thing that crashes you later.
Naming creates agency. When you can label what’s happening (“I’m catastrophizing,” “I’m in fight-or-flight,” “I’m attached to this idea”), you create a pause—and the pause is power.
The Habit Finder is about risk, not personality. It highlights where you’re most likely to slide into old grooves—so you can slow down, bring support, and build new pathways.
Millimeter shifts beat dramatic overhauls. Deep, lasting change happens incrementally—especially in a culture addicted to speed, convenience, and constant stimulation.
Resources:
Amy's book: "I See You"
The Habit Finder assessment (behavioral “risk” tool Amy uses and offers via her website)
The “superhighway” metaphor for neuroplasticity (Katie references The Confidence Code)
Guest Info:
Amy Kemp is the owner and CEO of Amy Kemp, Inc., an author, and a coach who helps leaders and business professionals understand how subconscious habits of thinking shape performance, relationships, and fulfillment. Her work centers on building awareness of the mental “grooves” that once protected us but may now be limiting us. Using tools like the Habit Finder assessment, Amy helps clients identify thinking risks, slow down in pivotal moments, and create sustainable change through incremental practice. Her approach is deeply compassionate, practical, and grounded in how the brain is wired for survival.
