When was the last time you felt truly POWERFUL?
Not powerful over someone or something. But powerful as YOU. Fully alive, fully expressed, and confident in who you are.
Two weeks ago, I asked this question to a room of more than 600 women at the NJ Conference for Women. And for many, the answer was that it had been a LONG time.
That got me thinking about how we've been taught to understand power in the first place. For centuries, our culture has largely celebrated a traditional, masculine-coded expression of power. Dominance. Winning. Bravado. Confidence. Commanding the room. Having the upper hand in a negotiation or conversation. Physical strength.
And while some of those qualities can absolutely be valuable (ex: I lean into my confidence and physical strength every time I run a marathon), I think we've developed a rather incomplete picture of what it means to be powerful. Because when power is primarily about winning, controlling, or dominating, someone else inevitably ends up on the losing side. And that creates a rather lousy choice, doesn't it? Either become the person who dominates... or become the person who gets dominated.
For many people, especially women who've been conditioned to prioritize harmony, kindness, and making others comfortable, that first option doesn't feel particularly appealing. So we choose the second. Sometimes without even realizing it. We set a boundary at work or home, someone crosses it, and we say nothing because we don't want to seem selfish or difficult. We offer a perspective in a meeting, someone talks over us, and we let it go because we don't want to be rude. We have an idea, a desire, or a dream, but we shrink it because we're afraid of taking up too much space.
Sound familiar?
And here's what I find fascinating. We often think we're being kind, gracious, or accommodating. But sometimes, we're simply giving away our power because we haven't imagined another way to use it. What if being powerful didn't require anyone else to be powerless? What if power could be something we cultivate within ourselves, use to make a meaningful difference, and share generously with others?
That's the idea behind a framework I call P3™.
POWER WITHIN — Personal Agency
This is the power of knowing yourself, honoring your values, making intentional choices, and allowing yourself to be fully alive and expressed. It's recognizing that you have a voice, that your needs matter, and that you have agency in how you live your life.
POWER TO — Meaningful Impact
This is your ability to take action, influence change, create something meaningful, and make a difference. It's using your voice, gifts, experiences, and resources to contribute to something beyond yourself.
POWER SHARED — Helping Others Rise
This is the power of opening doors, creating opportunities, amplifying voices, and helping other people recognize and exercise their own power. Because someone else's success doesn't diminish yours.
And gosh, imagine what our homes, workplaces, communities, and world might look like if we embraced a more expansive understanding of power. Especially right now.
When I look at our political climate, the conversations happening in our culture, and the way power is exercised in so many public spaces, I wonder how much we're missing by treating power like something that must be won, defended, or taken from someone else.
I don't believe we have to choose between being strong and being compassionate. Between standing up for ourselves and caring deeply about others. Between owning our power and helping someone else own theirs. We can be powerful without overpowering.
So, my friend, where might you be giving away your power because you've been playing by someone else's definition of what it means to be strong? And what might change if you began seeing power as something that lives within you, moves through you, and can be shared with the people around you?
Reconnect With Your Power
Find a quiet moment, close your eyes if you're comfortable, and think back to a time when you felt truly powerful. Not because you had control over someone else, but because you felt fully YOU.
Bring that moment to life. Where were you? Who was there? What were you doing?
Now, notice what happens in your body as you remember it. How were you standing or moving? What did your voice sound like? What was your energy like? What were you feeling?
Maybe you felt grounded, confident, joyful, courageous, free, or deeply connected.
Choose three words that describe what power felt like for YOU.
Now think about a situation in your life where you're currently feeling a little powerless. What might change if you brought those three qualities into that situation? How might you think, speak, or act differently?
You don't have to change everything today.
Just notice what becomes possible when you reconnect with the power you already have.
