Episode 99: Maybe Playing It Safe Is the Biggest Risk of All | Kristy Halvorson

What if you knew you couldn't get it wrong?

We spend a lot of our lives trying to know what happens next.

We make the plan. Calculate the risk. Imagine everything that could go wrong. And sometimes, we stay in a life that doesn't feel particularly good simply because at least we know what to expect.

But what if the unknown isn't something to fear? What if it's actually an invitation?

In 2017, Kristy Halvorsen walked away from a successful career as a firefighter/paramedic, sold her dream home and most of her belongings, bought an Airstream, and headed into the unknown.

And here's the important part: it wasn't immediately wonderful.

In this episode, Kristy and I talk about what happened next—and what she learned when she stopped fighting reality and started trusting what she calls the "tickles of her soul."

We explore why our brains crave certainty, why we'd sometimes rather stay in a "sucky known" than risk an uncertain possibility, and how worry, expectations, scarcity, and our need for control can keep us from the life that's calling us.

Because maybe the goal isn't to create a life that looks impressive.

Maybe it's to create one that feels deeply alive.

Key Learnings:

• The known isn't necessarily better. It's just known. Sometimes we stay in situations that don't feel good simply because uncertainty feels scarier.

• Question the belief underneath the fear. What are you telling yourself about what's possible—or impossible—that may not actually be true?

• Your knowing often arrives before the explanation. Kristy calls them the "tickles of the soul." You might call it intuition, a gut feeling, or the voice of God.

• You don't need the whole blueprint. Your knowing may only give you the next step. Take it. Then listen again.

• Stop fighting reality. Sometimes our suffering isn't coming from what's happening, but from our attachment to how we thought it was supposed to happen.

And when you're really stuck, try Kristy's question: What would I do if I wholeheartedly knew I couldn't get this wrong?

TRY THIS: THE POSSIBILITY POST-IT

Think about one situation where you currently feel stuck. Instead of trying to solve the whole thing, write one question on a Post-it: “What else might be possible?”

Put it somewhere you'll see it. Then challenge yourself to identify possibilities across three areas:

• ME: What could I think, believe, or do differently?

• WE: What could change in how I engage with the other person?

• HOW: What could I change about the approach or process?

You don't need to pursue every possibility. The practice is simply reminding yourself that the first answer isn't necessarily the only answer.

LINKS & Resources:

• Kristy Halvorsen
  Explore Kristy's writing, coaching, adventures, and her idea of "coddiwompling"—traveling purposefully toward unknown destinations, remaining open to possibility, and "unpredicting" the journey.

• Perfect Unfolding: Seven Years of Life-Changing Solo Adventure, One Year That Broke Me Open
  Kristy's book chronicles her decision to trade her dream home and firefighting career for a solo, off-grid life in an Airstream—and the much deeper journey from her head to her heart.

• The Courage to Be Disliked
  During our conversation, I also reference this book and its exploration of Adlerian psychology, particularly the freedom that can come when we stop organizing our lives around other people's approval.

Guest Info:

Kristy Halvorsen is an author, speaker, coach, mentor, explorer, and self-described wanderer. In 2017, she sold her home and belongings, stepped away from her career as a lieutenant firefighter/paramedic, and set off in an Airstream with no predetermined destination. What began as an adventure became something much bigger: an ongoing experiment in what happens when we loosen our grip on certainty and learn to trust life as it unfolds.