Episode 98: You’re Not Stuck, You Just Can’t See the Possibilities Yet | Dr. Irina Cozma

Ever find yourself thinking...

I’m stuck.
I don’t know what to do.
There’s no other option.
That person is NEVER going to change.

Yeah. Us too.

But what if the problem isn’t that there are no other possibilities? What if you just can’t see them yet?

In this episode, Dr. Katie sits down with organizational psychologist and executive coach Dr. Irina Cozma to talk about becoming a possibility thinker—someone who refuses to assume that the first answer, the familiar answer, or even the seemingly obvious answer is the only answer.

And this isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending every problem has an easy solution. It’s about getting curious enough to ask: What else could I try?

Irina shares three places to look when you can’t seem to find a way forward: within yourself, within your relationships, and within the process itself. Sometimes possibility means changing your own behavior. Sometimes it means having the conversation you’ve been avoiding. Sometimes it means questioning the way something has always been done.

And sometimes? It means putting a Post-it note on your computer that reminds you to slow the heck down.

From hard conversations and difficult coworkers to career decisions, perfectionism, fear of failure, and our obsession with what other people might think, this conversation is an invitation to loosen your grip on the way it has to be and experiment with what else might be possible.

Because maybe you’re not as stuck as you think. Maybe you just haven’t found your next possibility yet.

Key Learnings:

• “Stuck” may be a signal that your thinking has narrowed.
  When we say things like “There’s nothing I can do,” “They’ll never change,” or “This is just how it is,” we may be treating one interpretation or path as the only one available. A possibility thinker challenges that assumption and asks what else might be available. 

• Look for possibility in three places: inner, relational, and process.
  Sometimes the opportunity is inner—changing how you think, regulate your emotions, or behave. Sometimes it’s relational—changing how you communicate, ask for help, set a boundary, delegate, or influence someone. And sometimes it’s process—changing the approach, structure, sequence, or way something gets done. Looking through all three lenses can reveal options we couldn't see before.

• A different outcome usually requires trying something different.
  Knowing another option exists isn't enough. Irina encourages experimentation—even with something as small as opening a meeting differently, asking a different question, or changing one behavior. Fear of failing, looking ridiculous, or worrying about what others will think can keep us from ever testing the possibilities available to us. 

• Possibility thinking is a practice, not a personality trait.
  Behavior change takes repetition. In one example, Irina shares how a client preparing for emotionally charged conversations used a simple Post-it asking, “Is it worth it?” as a reminder to pause and choose his response. Small experiments, reflection, and repetition gradually create new ways of responding. 

• Give yourself a chance before deciding something isn't possible.
  Irina's simplest starting point is to trust yourself a little more. You have experience, strengths, values, and evidence that you've done hard things before. And as she reminds listeners at the end of the conversation, if another human has found a way to do the thing you want to do, that's evidence that a path exists—even if yours ultimately looks different. 

TRY THIS: THE POSSIBILITY POST-IT

Think about one situation where you currently feel stuck. Instead of trying to solve the whole thing, write one question on a Post-it: “What else might be possible?”

Put it somewhere you'll see it. Then challenge yourself to identify possibilities across three areas:

• ME: What could I think, believe, or do differently?

• WE: What could change in how I engage with the other person?

• HOW: What could I change about the approach or process?

You don't need to pursue every possibility. The practice is simply reminding yourself that the first answer isn't necessarily the only answer.

LINKS & Resources:

• Connect with Irina on LinkedIn

• Explore Irina's Website: www.irinacozma.com

Guest Info:

Dr. Irina Cozma is an organizational psychologist and executive coach who helps accomplished professionals strengthen the human skills that make work—and leadership—better.

After ten years in management consulting and experience with organizations including Salesforce and Wells Fargo, Irina now works with high performers on areas such as emotional regulation, delegation and boundaries, strategic influence, perfectionism, and behavioral change.

At the heart of her work is helping people become possibility thinkers: people who can move beyond “I don't know” and “I'm stuck” to see more options, experiment with new approaches, and become more intentional about how they work, lead, and live.